Dean (especially) for the past few days on tumblr dot com:
[ID: a newscaster on TV, sitting at a desk and holding papers with both hands while looking at the viewer. The words “breaking news” are written in all caps on the screen behind him. End ID]
So, here are just a few the things that have happened this week so far
Orcas are attacking yachts off the coast of Spain.
Approximately 600 refugees drown in a maritime disaster off the coast of Greece. Grecian Coast Guard observes the carnage without intervening.
Billionaires undergo journey to the Titanic in DIY death trap built in the backyard of a guy who reads Ayn Rand unironically. Everyone on board dies when the “submersible” suffers a catastrophic implosion.
The UPS Teamsters Union has voted to go on strike, demanding, among other things, AC in their trucks. Something I’m sure you thought they already had. Because why don’t they? UPS is one of the largest private postage companies in the United States, and if the strike proceeds long enough, it will undoubtedly be broken up by the Biden Administration, much like the potential railway strike last December.
The trial date of former US President Donald Trump is set for August. This is the trial for the nuclear docs he was storing in his shower in Florida, not the shady business practices he held in New York or the election fraud he is currently being investigated for in Georgia.
Hunter Biden, son of current US President Joe Biden, has plead guilty to tax crimes and the illegal possession of a firearm. Opponents of the administration are displeased because Hunter was not charged with what they feel is his most serious offense, being Joe Biden’s son.
Violence has once again broken out in the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, as Israeli settlers and the IDF continue to encroach and commit atrocities further and further into Palestinian territory.
SCOTUS delivers a highly unexpected ruling on how the Biden Administration has handled immigration, allowing it to proceed with its current plans. This is one in a serious of surprisingly progressive decisions by the court. Given the far right leanings of the court, many suspect this is simply SCOTUS setting up to cushion the blow of their inevitable strike down of a student loan forgiveness program. A decision that will likely be just as unpopular as the strike down of Roe v Wade, given the millions of US citizens relying on said debt forgiveness.
Speaking of which, this week is the one year anniversary of SCOTUS striking down the court’s previous decision on Roe v Wade, robbing women across the US of the right to an abortion.
Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk set up a cage fight.
A massive gas explosion rocks central Paris, injuring dozens of people.
Logitech suffers an immense blow to its stock prices as a result of their involvement in the Titan Comedy. Conversely, independent video game Iron Lung sees its downloads shoot through the roof.
The Wagner Group, a Russian PCM with numerous neo-nazi affiliations, launches and then abandons a coup against Russian High Command in a period of less than 36 hours.
Can someone PLEASE explain to me just what the fuck is going on here?
“A submarine has gone missing” : Oh jeeze, I hope they find those people.
“A submarine visiting the wreck of the titanic has gone missing” : Well, that’s a little ghoulish but I can’t blame folks for a morbid curiosity, especially at a monument to white man’s hubris.
“An experimental cobbled together submarine visiting the wreck of the titanic has gone missing” : Well at this point y'all were just taking your lives into your own hands and also how is ‘slapped together submarine’ a legal thing that’s real.
“An experimental cobbled together submarine full of the absurdly wealthy visiting the wreck of the titanic has gone missing” : Okay now this just feels a little too on point someone has to be joking with me.
You gotta love that Tumblr is on the rise because of Twitter and Reddit going down, and not because Tumblr has actually done anything to really improve its website.
I personally kin with a website that accidentally and coincidentally fails upwards.
The site that wins simply by remaining upright.
We are literally this meme, posted eons ago, in our ancient texts.
